June 8, 2020 © by Judith Allen Shone
THE PATH
What if something happened, if things
were different than they are?
Just how would that be?
What if I’d walked a different path
with someone else?
Would I still be me?
What if I’d lived somewhere else
in another world?
What difference would I see?
What if I’d chosen differently,
how would my life be?
That’s past and not for changing,
but can be for review.
What felt right would be a marker,
what felt wrong would be a clue.
Of the paths that were before me,
the choice was always there.
I picked one, then went that way,
knowing nothing else to do.
I never saw a guiding light;
I never felt a goal.
The only pull I sensed inside
was away from some dark hole—
that abyss that went to nowhere—
with wasted life in full view,
I just kept moving forward,
where I found a love for you
…and you…and you.
The Path © 2020 Judith Allen Shone
THE AUTHOR
My Love’s ten years with Alzheimer’s disease seems so long ago that much of that desperate and disruptive life has become somewhat blurry.
Caregiving began for me three years after we retired. It was a commitment I fulfilled until the day I was told to evacuate, to leave My Love alone in the hospital because of a COVID-19 epidemic on his floor. Weeks later, while still in that room, alone, he left this world. I never had the opportunity to say “good-bye.”
Our personal story, told in my books, “Is There Any Ice Cream?” (© 2019) and “Did You Hide the Cookies?“ (© 2020), reveals reflective moments from the unanticipated emotional chaos that emerged while I, alone, was caregiver for My Love who had COPD, Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, cancer (that went into remission), anxiety, and elevated calcium, with occasional mysteries arising.
Readers have found these stories to be written with “warmth and sincerity,” and “such powerful honesty that they inspire and awaken courage.”
Be sure to see what readers say in response to the books.
These two books invite you to experience day-to-day life, the trials, joys, and heartaches, of the world of spouse caregiving. I hopes I can be a connection to understanding that I wished I had found earlier in our journey. I hope caregivers will become aware of what might be ahead for them.
Using creative initiative, I felt compelled to tell our stories to unmask the role of caregiver. Knowing there were millions of stories to be told, my wish was to share a glimpse of our world to those who were also untrained and anxious. I hoped to help caregivers strengthen their own spirit, power and determination, while taking a swipe at the stigma, the fears and misunderstandings, that surround Alzheimer’s world.
Put your arms around your shoulders and squeeze…that’s a bear hug from me. -jas
My Love’s stuffed friends, Annie B and Archie Bear, are the source of bears and bear hugs associated with these books.
ABOUT ME
During my caregiving journey, beyond the initial Alzheimer Society sponsored education classes, I worked through a course at McMaster University, Caregiver Essentials, to continue to improve my “knowledge, confidence, and overall health & well-being,” as I learned how the role of a caregiver impacted my life and my ability to do the best for My Love that I could, and vice versa!!
During the month of June -Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month- I generally advocate for those challenged by Myasthenia Gravis with my Myasthenia Gravis Insights.com site. I have lived with MG since 1956 and feel I am qualified to support those with MG and the research toward finding a cure.
I graduated with a BA in Art from Colorado State University in 1965. And got my teaching credentials from University of Colorado the same year. Before becoming a caregiver, I spent over forty-two years in sales, advertising and marketing in the corporate world, as well as for exhibit firms, the in the US, and then in Canada. Before that, I used my degree as an art teacher, eventually for all grades K-12, and later made my passion for writing my hobby. The latter years of my work life were spent designing websites for corporate clients.
And then the real work began, the life I had NOT been trained for, when I became a caregiver
My two children are grown, my two grandchildren are in college. Since My Love passed, I still live in our apartment, overlooking the boat club he loved, on a river in Ontario, Canada, where I remember the good times we had in our nearly 29 years together, and loving the memories of our dear little malti-poo, Miss Muffin.
THANK YOU for visiting Accepting the Gift of Caregiving. My wish is that you found some support and comfort here.
Miss Muffin 💖 2011-2020
Facebook – Judith Allen Shone-author
LinkedIn – Judith Allen Shone
Goodreads – Judith Allen Shone
Instagram – caregiverstory
“Judith Allen Shone – The Path” © 2019 Judith Allen Shone updated 2023
MY BOOKS ARE WRITTEN IN LARGE PRINT for ease of reading.
See The Bookstore on this site.
A DIFFERENT DRUMMER BOOKS
in Burlington, Ontario, can order my books, “Is There Any Ice Cream?” and “Did You Hide the Cookies?”
Drop in and ask Ian to order a copy of both books.
Also available to order from:
your local bookstores, your favorite booksellers
online or from Amazon.
😊 Consider asking your library to order the books, possibly through their online ‘Request a Book‘ form or use our form, or make a phone call. So many more caregivers can be exposed to the world of caregiving to reduce their fears and help them find their courage if we help libraries be part of the educational chain of care. Our stories do help. Thank you. 😊
Accepting the Gift of Caregiving 