Ask, and ask again

April 28, 2024May 2, 2024 by Judith Allen Shone ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED?

…if your loved one had concerns about an activity, going somewhere, meeting someone? If we ask them questions when such situations arise, misunderstandings can be avoided, fears can be addressed, and plans made, or discontinued, before the activity, depending on the discoveries.

It is time well spent to ask questions before going ‘out.’ It is OK to listen, to accept and respect wishes of loved ones, even if loved ones might not truly understand what they are saying, even if caregivers don’t always agree. Being flexible is important as situations shift.

Among the many responsibilities taken on by caregivers is the concern for the safety and comfort of a loved one in various situations. That includes what caregivers perceive as safe and comfortable as well as what loved ones might feel as safe and comfortable. There might be overlap so the learning curve would not always so steep.

While it is not always possible to know what a loved one is thinking, we generally start out knowing their general demeanor, and their likes and dislikes.

But, as time progresses, and memories diminish, the brain sees life differently, and likes and dislikes may change. Caregivers need to remember to check in with a loved one occasionally. We cannot assume they will want to participate in activities or go somewhere. Sometimes it is OK to stay right where they are. Answers to questions can make that seem apparent.

read more ….
the rest of this article
gives more information about reasons to ask questions
and ideas for concerns when ‘going out’.

(This full article, alternately titled Ask again to be sure will also be found on the drop down main menu under Caregiver Knowledge as a permanent page on this site for easier finding on a return visit. Thank you.)

Love and be well, 🌷 Judy

Read the story of a caregiver’s journey, written to support other caregivers.

Give the Gift of Understanding
…today, next week, on a holiday, let our stories help another caregiver still finding their way.

LARGE TYPE in printed books. Order from your favorite bookseller or from Amazon. Inspire a caregiver to be the best caregiver knowing others have walked that same path. Visit caregiver-books.com Get it in Kindle eBook format and ask Alexa to read it to you!!

Loneliness in caregiving

November 1, 2023May 2, 2024 by Judith Allen Shone ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Loneliness – a side-effect of caregiving

Not long after retirement and following My Love’s diagnosis of COPD, I saw red flags and realized caregiving was in my future. I had to investigate what that role entailed. By two years later when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I recognized the partnership life I had committed to was unfolding a bit differently than I had envisioned. Over time, I reinvented myself, morphing into his caregiver. My Love’s changing health became the catalyst for all that was yet to come in our lives.

“Caregivers can feel lonely, no matter how unintentional.”

During the long ten years evolving as a caregiver, I felt more isolated and disconnected than at any other time in my life. I struggled to stay involved with friends. But after a bit, we grew distant to those we had known for some time. Not just because we were unavailable for many former activities, or that I couldn’t leave my loved one by himself, but also because we were in our 70s and were aging right along with everything else going on.

I found myself winding down activities that no longer interested me – sadly, that even included some of my friends. At the same time, I noticed that many of our couple-friends vanished early on. I was never quite sure whether it was our inability to be as involved as we had previously been, or whether we all experienced an uncomfortable lack of understanding of memory loss. In the end, it might have been easier to stay with what was known than to tackle a new dynamic with now unpredictable seniors. There was no one reason, but it was sad to watch the dwindling connections and to sense the abandonment and loneliness from those voids.

As I began reading about the impact of caring for those with memory loss, I related to the loneliness it created for me.

I found that loneliness is “an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation.” Emotional isolation….no connections…that was where I was!!

read more
the rest of this article
gives more information about loneliness
and solutions to help you through it.

(This full article, regarding Loneliness – Lost Connections will also be found on the drop down main menu under Caregiver Knowledge as a static page. Thank you.)

Love and be well, 🌷 Judy

Give the Gift of Understanding
…today, next week, on a holiday, let our stories help another caregiver still finding their way.

Podcasts for caregivers

October 28, 2023May 2, 2024 by Judith Allen Shone ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Do you listen to podcasts? Many care partners for those with dementia discover the ‘way out of desperation’ is to seek out a variety of resources for getting help. And HELP IS ON THE WAY!!

FEEDSPOT, offers 80 best caregiver podcasts.

If you feel desperate, see this list and signup to receive email updates.

If you feel like you have lost your foothold, like no one has answers, like no one is listening. See this list of broadcasters who know you need help …all you must do is reach out and look at their list, and click to listen.

ALZAUTHORS has expanded their support to include podcasts!

Maybe you don’t have time to read or watch a video…but perhaps there are times when you can walk and listen, or drive and listen, or even rest and listen…then podcast-help might be just the ticket.

Many caregivers are familiar with AlzAuthors, a unique group who promote, through their website and emails, and on social media, hundreds of books with dementia-related topics from every perspective in support of caregivers. Now, with a wish to broaden their reach, they offer weekly podcasts for caregivers through their Untangling Alzheimer’s and Dementia on the Whole Care Network (formerly New York City Podcast Network) – App available at Apple Store or Google Play!

CLICK HERE to Read the rest of this article

(This full article, regarding Podcasts for ‘dementia discussions’ will also be found on the drop down main menu under Caregiver Knowledge as a static page for easier finding. Blog pages just get more initial attention, so thus this format allows us to reach as many caregivers as might benefit. Thank you.)