Balancing our self-care

February 01, 2021 by jas

Can you answer these questions easily? If not, take the time right now to consider:


1. What makes you feel good…something that you don’t have to force yourself to do?
2. What assures your good health – emotional, mental and physical?
3. What improves your mood and reduces your anxiety?
4. What improves your relationship with yourself and others?
5. Who makes you smile and your heart sing?

Find those things and those people – the ones that make your heart sing! Be with those who make you smile, who lift your spirt and make life wonderful, those who make you feel good…for the entire day!


Write these names and numbers on a note and put on your fridge!

If you feel you need help right now…try these services…

1. Telehealth Ontario – Call Toll-free: 1-866-797-0000

2. Crisis Services Canada – Call 1.833.456.4566 | Text  45645 …find someone to talk to!!!

3. Call your personal health care provider for guidance.


In these times of COVID-19, find ways to do some of these things with friends online, together. One-on-one or a group, just visiting or playing games or listening or learning…when you can or on a schedule, if that helps get it done! You will be happier.

Of course, we know that self-care does include taking time to care for personal care, a doctor visit, a bubble bath, meditation, taking your own medication, remembering your allergies, keeping track of your appointments, getting the nourishment that you need.

As caregivers, we tend to give our thoughts, time and actions toward the care of our loved one. Too often, we do not meet our own needs equally… we can offer better care when we take care of ourselves equal to the care we give our loved one. We are certainly worth taking the time. We have been told, and hopefully we know for sure, that we are a better caregiver when we have filled our needs, when our glass is filled with love, when our heart is singing, when we are nourished and calm.

Self-care is not a selfish act. In fact, if we do not care for ourselves we cannot care for anyone else. We need to take care of needs as part of our role maintenance.

To eliminate wasted time, begin to prioritize your actions.
1. become aware of what actions you do,
2. understand why you do it, how that action feels
3. recognize desirable and undesirable results of your actions, the outcomes
4. repeat what makes you feel good; eliminate or evaluate what makes you feel bad.
5. LAUGH

Find reasons to laugh. Create reasons to laugh. Ask others to laugh with you.
You cannot feel bad if your really feel good!

If you laughed at any pictures on this page, look again, laugh again! If you had trouble laughing, please consider if you would feel better if you talked with someone, just talked.


Taken from the self-care section on our CAREGIVER TIPS page, read these few lines below…
it takes a minute to find ways to help yourself that can make huge differences in your life!
YOU ARE WORTH IT!

CAREGIVERS TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES: . . . means they will be healthier and, therefore, can provide better care to their loved one.

Never assume another caregiver is going through what you are experiencing, or that you experience what they do. We have no idea what others are experiencing in their personal lives. Their life will be different.

Sometimes you get so busy taking care of others that you forget that you are important, too! Take care of yourself, of your needs, of your loved one and of your life in a way that words for you.

  • Take a break, have your luxuries, spend time with friends, arrange to go shopping, make time for your own passions, all without feeling inadequate or guilty. It is necessary that caregivers feel refreshed to remain a healthy, rested provider for their loved one.
  • Eat well, focus on nutritional content. Exercise, sleep well, and see a personal health provider regularly. If these areas are threatened by caregiving, or caregiving is threatened by failures in any of these areas, respond as if there is a red flag— get help immediately.
  • List the tasks that are done on a daily basis to be able to recognize and acknowledge the important issues. Rank them. This way the most important ones get attention. Ask for help with those things that push caregiving beyond the boundaries for each day and task.
  • Schedule relief time, when someone will spend time with the loved one while the caregiver takes a break, either out of the home or in the home.
  • Have someone lined up, or a service that provides carers handy who understands your loved one so when your stress, exhaustion or illness arise, someone can come in for a longer period than a few hours. Physicians, family members, PSWs, Alzheimer Society counselling services , overnight services all can contribute ideas to solve the particular issue you have.
  • Emotions are our ‘guidance system.‘The whole spectrum of emotions will appear at some point throughout the journey. Let emotions be a guide to the intensity of stress that may be keeping you from being your best or doing your best. Pay attention to how you feel and respond in the best way possible at the time.
  • Read Caregiver Care here on this site and find other appropriate articles online related to your needs. BUT DO IT. Having ideas researched and solutions ready will begin to reduce stress before it begins. ~Various people contributed these comments through discussions over time. 🌞
  • Read Maybe I Could Have… by Andrea René Williams, clear reflections on ideas she wished she’d done better, on ways she wished she’d been better prepared.

If we don’t take care of ourselves, if we don’t ask for help when we need it…the toll on those already tired and overwhelmed can be much greater than if we were not caregivers.


I know caregiving gets tedious, it gets downright exhausting. But caregivers help one another because we know we need to be encouraged and to laugh. Ask your friend, your Alzheimer Society, your counselor, your therapist, your doctor. We all want the best for our friends. Needing help is not something to be embarrassed about, but something that is necessary. We ALL need support. Support is a huge part of self-care.

If you have tried all this and still feel down, call the Alzheimer Society and ask for a counselor because it is an emergency for you!

If that is not working, call Crisis Hot Line in your area
( in Canada, Call  1.833.456.4566 | Text  45645) where you can talk to someone confidentially.

Balancing our Self-care (c) 2021 Judith Allen Shone

All photos shown in the photo galleries on this page are from Pixabay.com