February 11, 2021 Updated August 25, 2023 by jas
EXPLORING COMMUNICATION
Learn ways to communicate
with loved ones who have dementia.
Communication with our loved ones will become more difficult as they move along the dementia spectrum. As words lose their meanings, and understanding begins to fade, you will want to discover suggested ways to communicate to allow you to enjoy time together.
Professionals, who have experienced successes in ‘how’ to communicate with someone who has one of the dementia diseases, offer ways to make our conversations with loved ones less stressful.
It’s as important much how we say it as what we say. One thought at a time. Wait, and respond in their reality. Remember, we have normal brain storage and fast retrieval. A loved one with dementia has incomplete brain storage –fewer words to speak, to hear, to understand– and can only retrieve from what is there. We want to avoid hidden emotional threats by using words or speaking patterns that make them feel humiliated, bullied, stupid or anxious.
Many with dementia know their vocabulary is limited, but can do nothing about that. We must pay attention to their responses, reactions and if our words trigger fears, anxiety or other emotions while they talk with us. We want to make the loved one feel comfortable and confident. We want a conversation that makes sense to our loved one as much as possible. So we must take remember there have been many changes in the communication skills so now it is out turn to be conscious of our words and our demeanor. Remember, what we say is as important as how we say it.
These are sites I discovered when I needed to learn helpful communication related strategies, especially in the later stages of our journey.
WEBSITES TALK ABOUT COMMUNICATION
3Rs – Repeat, Reassure, Redirect
I had to reflect on our conversations to become aware I might need help. I discovered many options to keep a calm environment … and that we are the ones to control that atmosphere by how we communicate.
We want loved ones to understand, and so we need to know what to say and how to say it. We want to engage with them, not argue with them. Even when words seem to become harder for our loved ones to recognize, there are ways to communicate.
Numerous websites devote space to informative discussions about communication. We learn that foremost, it is important that we listen to our loved ones as much as we speak to them so we can understand from their point of view.
Learn more for your particular situation on these sites. And then use Google for your specific questions.
Alzheimer Association – US – Communication in Late Stages
Alzheimer’s Organization – UK – Tips for communicating with a person with dementia
Alzheimer Society Canada – Communicating with people living with dementia
Better Health – Dementia Communication
Dementia Care Central – Understanding communication problems
Island Health Geriatric Specialty Services Canada – Communication PDF 10 Tips for Communicating with someone with Dementia
Mayo Clinic US – Alzheimer’s and dementia: Tips for better communication
US Govt National Institute of Aging – Alzheimer’s Caregiving: Changes in Communication Skills
I received a card from the
Alzheimer Society with
ten suggestions for communication.
TEEPA SNOW’S POSITIVE APPROACH TO CARE
If you have not already found her YouTube videos, Teepa Snow has an immense library of helpful videos related to Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care . That link opens to a communication video – it gets you to her channel area of YouTube. While there, you can browse through many topics she covers in an easily relatable manner.
HELP VISITORS WITH COMMUNICATIONS
Words that tell about the person
help visitors communicate.
It has been suggested that illustrations or a “My Story” notebook, telling of the loved one’s life and interests, be nearby for visitors to quickly reference.
I framed a similar word art image. It offered visitors an opportunity for a “quick glance” at meaningful words The lettering was artistic (selected from font list) For those years I had it on the wall as decoration, it helped start many a conversation.
Let them tell you about their story. From reading this picture of MOM you might say, “Did you sing and play piano?” “Can you tell me about singing or playing piano?” Whatever they say next is their reality, just let them talk.
In time I understood this was not a time for me to help them ‘get it right’ – in their reality, their story was right. I learned my version of their story was irrelevant if I wanted a calm experience.
Recognizing that communication will be an issue, prepare with options that might make it easier. Being afraid to talk to someone who does not understand your words is not unusual, but can be overcome so that relationships can continue. Even though loved ones have problems with words, they still have feelings. Knowing ways to make them feel good will make your time together more meaningful and successful.
“Talking with loved ones” Copyright (c) 2021-2023 Judith Allen Shone
Accepting the Gift of Caregiving 