Tag: caregivers

Can I Help a Caregiver?

Can I Help a Caregiver?

by Judith Allen Shone ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

What does a caregiver’s life feel like?
Do they need help? Can you and I help?
If so, how?

At various times throughout the ten years I cared for my loved one, we gravitated toward and joined with others who, like us, spent their day facing the challenges of caring that came with living in Alzheimer’s world. Thank goodness there were others, other places to meet and other people to share with.

We participated in education classes, learning with others in similar situations. We spent weekly activities together while sharing stories and learning from one another about the situations memory loss had introduced into our lives. We kindled friendships with others walking similar pathways, each one waking up to unknowns few of us had ever experienced or expected. We talked of days when life presented us with what we felt were unsurmountable obstacles, days when we’d climbed more mountains and killed more bears than we ever envisioned possible. We had lots of questions and many wishes but didn’t always have answers.

In most cases, in each ‘couple,’ one of us was caring for a family member, the other was our loved one with memory loss. Few of our caregiver friends had much time to be supportive for one another. Just thinking about, planning for, or acting on ideas took time and energy we did not have. We, were drained, sleep deprived, and at our limits, climbing that steep learning curve, doing the best we knew at that moment. Ask any caregiver, they are likely to tell you how desperate, alone, exhausted, and useless they feel.

How on earth did we keep going?

read more ….….
…more what we might do for caregivers to make their life easier, or for a break.
(This full article, alternately titled How We Can Help Caregivers, will also be found on the drop down main menu under Caregiver Knowledge as a permanent page on this site for easier finding on a return visit. Thank you.)

Love and be well, 🌷 Judy

Can I Help a Caregiver? (c) May 2024 Judith Allen Shone All Rights Reserved

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day

by Judith Allen Shone ♥ 0 Leave a Comment


For those whose mothers or mother figures or grandmothers in their life have memory loss, Mother’s Day might bring on anxieties about how you’ll handle it, what to do, how to behave. Similar uncomfortable thoughts might find their way through your mind.

While my mother did not have memory loss, I have known friends whose parents did. For some it was just a matter of planning ahead. For others, it created stress. If you find some suggestions might be helpful, I have gathered some links together. These site pages offer ideas and various resources for finding your way toward making Mother’s Day happy for you as well as your mother.

Alternatively, you might get special ideas from your local Alzheimer organization.

My two cents: Remember to keep love and kindness in the equation of everything you think, plan and do…then how fancy or how calm and simple won’t make so much difference.

Be sure to remember your loved one on Mother’s Day…or any other day when you have the opportunity!

Mother’s Day May 2024 Judith Allen Shone All Rights Reserved

Get a glimpse of what caring for one
with Alzheimer’s, COPD and anxiety
might look like, might FEEL like.
Read about the journey of a caregiver.
Learn, like we all do, that we need each other on our journey.

Ask, and ask again

Ask, and ask again

by Judith Allen Shone ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED?

…if your loved one had concerns about an activity, going somewhere, meeting someone?  If we ask them questions when such situations arise, misunderstandings can be avoided, fears can be addressed, and plans made, or discontinued, before the activity, depending on the discoveries.

It is time well spent to ask questions before going ‘out.’ It is OK to listen, to accept and respect wishes of loved ones, even if loved ones might not truly understand what they are saying, even if caregivers don’t always agree. Being flexible is important as situations shift. 

Among the many responsibilities taken on by caregivers is the concern for the safety and comfort of a loved one in various situations. That includes what caregivers perceive as safe and comfortable as well as what loved ones might feel as safe and comfortable. There might be overlap so the learning curve would not always so steep.

While it is not always possible to know what a loved one is thinking, we generally start out knowing their general demeanor, and their likes and dislikes.

But, as time progresses, and memories diminish, the brain sees life differently, and likes and dislikes may change. Caregivers need to remember to check in with a loved one occasionally. We cannot assume they will want to participate in activities or go somewhere. Sometimes it is OK to stay right where they are. Answers to questions can make that seem apparent.

read more ….
the rest of this article
gives more information about reasons to ask questions
and ideas for concerns when ‘going out’.

(This full article, alternately titled Ask again to be sure will also be found on the drop down main menu under Caregiver Knowledge as a permanent page on this site for easier finding on a return visit. Thank you.)

Love and be well, 🌷 Judy

Read the story of a caregiver’s journey, written to support other caregivers.

Give the Gift of Understanding
…today, next week, on a holiday, let our stories help another caregiver still finding their way.

LARGE TYPE in printed books. Order from your favorite bookseller or from Amazon. Inspire a caregiver to be the best caregiver knowing others have walked that same path. Visit caregiver-books.com Get it in Kindle eBook format and ask Alexa to read it to you!!