If I Get Dementia…

July 17, 2023 © Judith Allen Shone All Rights Reserved 🍦🍪
Poem “If I Get Dementia” © Rachel Wonderlin All Rights Reserved

WISHES FULL OF WISDOM

from one asking to be treated a certain way,
to be talked to a certain way, and
to be honoured in a certain manner
if they get dementia.

For caregivers 💕and for those who assist and support them.

Knowing how someone wants to be treated when they get dementia helps us to understand and makes life easier for everyone. It lets us know how to honor them in a way they prefer. It is not painful, but it takes a loving, conscious effort on our part.

Caregivers will be happy to know that the positive effectiveness of these requests is proof that life becomes easier when we:

.. .focus on the one we are caring for and their wishes as opposed to what we want or what we think they should do.

You also might like to read, Imagine You Have Dementia. It helps to get perspectives from all sides to better understand those with memory loss when we are with them.

** NOTE: This poem has been ‘shared’ by so many! Originally I could not go back far enough to find the original author. But today, June 26, 2024, the mystery is solved. I am excited to pass on that Pam Wonderlin has acknowledged in the comments that this poem was authored by Rachel Wonderlin. Thank you. To our visitors/readers, please visit Rachel’s website Dementia by Day

If I get dementia © by Rachel Wonderlin

“If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live.
I want them to remember these things.


1.  If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.


2.  If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.


3.  If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.


4.  If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.


5.  If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.


6.  If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.


7.  If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.


8.  If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.


9.  If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past


10.  If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.


11.  If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.


12.  If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.


13.  If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.

14.  If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.


15.  If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.


16.  If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.

17.  If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.


18.  If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.


19.  If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.


20.  If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.

21.  If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

💕💔

If I get dementia, I want my caregivers to have access to as many caregiver stories as possible.
~ Judy Shone

Thank you for visiting and reading this list.** I hope there was one wish that was helpful. 🌷 💖🌷

SHARE THIS PAGE, or EMAIL THIS LINK in Honour of someone you know or knew who has dementia and in Honour of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s

If I Get Dementia… (the page, not the poem) © July 2023 Judith Allen Shone

Insights and humor throughout,

MY BOOKS are printed in LARGE TYPE. I know they will be easier to read!

If you want to feel that you have friends so you don’t feel alone. If you want to be assured that someone else knows what you are going through, read these heartwarming books of the journey of My Love and me. While there are the first one begins when he was diagnosed and goes through our association with the Alzheimer Society. The second one is more focused on his behaviors and actions as he progressed.
Read to understand someone else’s experiences to make yours easier!

Order from your favourite bookseller, from Amazon, or as a Kinde ebook. Thank you.😇❤️

4 thoughts on “If I Get Dementia…”

  1. Cathy, thank you for stopping by and browsing. It is indeed helpful to know all we can from the loved one’s perspective. Rachel Wonderlin’s words are so important and valuable! And who knows if we might be in similar shoes, and then someone else will hopefully understand.

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  3. Pam, I am thrilled that you found this and I can attribute it to Rachel Wonderlin, the author. Thank you for reaching out. Please advise if I have it right. Thank you. Judy Shone
    To our visitors/readers, please visit Rachel’s website Dementia by Day

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